In Memory Of My Daddy* Poem*
08.22.06 (5:33 pm) [edit]The pain and the heartbreak* That came from this tragic* Is far more bigger* Than any heartache I've ever felt* My problems seem so small* Compared to what has happened* You've left me completely now* Never to return* I'll miss you so much* More than ever imagined* I dont know what Ima do now* Without your helping hand* Long while ago* I lost your trust for me* But you gave me forgiveness* And trusted me again* Yet again I messed up* But this time even bigger* And you punished me harshly* And I hated you for it* We started not talking* And I kept many things from you* But some how, some way* You still knew everything about me* I remember you telling me* From the first time you saw me* That you knew I'd be trouble* Yet you loved me more than anything* We fought so damn much* And now I regret it* But I also will remember* The great times we had* Like remember that time* That you made me pay a toll* Of a hug and an I love you* And you whispered it back to me* Or all of those times* You took me on your motorcycle* We drove miles and miles* Just to eat breakfast together* And that night of the rodeo* Where you were meeting one of my friends* You told him not to hurt me* Cuz I was your little girl.....* We were finally getting closer* These past few weeks* And instead of avoiding you* I tried to spend time with you* You know what I loved most* Was when you intimidated "My Men"* They were all so afraid of you* And here I thought it was funny* Everyone in your life* Seemed only to see you* As a big scary biker* Or the man who could fix anything* Sure, I knew you loved your harley's* And you really could fix everything* Hell, even if it wasn't fixable* You'd find some temporary fix* But a biker and a mechanic* Wasn't all that you were great at* You were the greatest daddy to 3 girls* And a wonderful husband to your wife* Daddy I'm gonna miss you* Hell, I miss you already* All of us love you tons* And know you're with us in our hearts* It all just really sux* No daddy walking me down the aisle* No more life-teaching "talks"* And no more winks I took for granted* I never realized how much you loved me* And how much I loved you* You're always in my heart though* And i'll never let that go away* When I finally do pass on* Only to meet up with you in heaven* I'll find out what happened that night* When God took you away* I look forward to seeing you* And getting one of your big hugs* For now though I love you daddy* And I'll see you up above*
Little Boy*Poem*
08.22.06 (5:24 pm) [edit]As he comes out* From his mothers womb* He's beginning a new life* A precious little boy* So full of joy* And glad to be born* Into such a wonderful place* But yet he doesn't know* A thing about his family* His mother a hooker* And only 15* His father, who knows* Prolly some guy* Who just wanted laid* This poor little boy* Was just smiling away* Laughing at everything* It's good he doesn't know* That his father doesn't care* And his parents really wish* That he never came along* To put more dents in their lives* That little boy* Couldn't really help* The family he was born into* And have to make due with* But you know what* The mother has some common sense* There was a husband and wife* Who couldn't have children* And desperately wanted* An adorable little boy* The mother looked at her child* And then at the couple* And tears rolled down her cheek* As she signed her boy away* This married couple* Had a nice warm home* And plenty of love* And could give this little boy* All of his needs* The couple can be the family* That the little boy needs*
Why I'm Scared*Poem*
08.22.06 (5:22 pm) [edit]The reason I'm scared* Of falling in love* Is cuz I'm afraid* Of letting someone in* I'm truely afraid* Of letting someone get to know me* Knowing all of my secrets* And all of my wishes* And hopes and dreams* My goals for life* I'm afraid of letting them know* Everything about me* I'm scared I'll get hurt* I always get hurt* They'll say that they love me* And that they would never hurt me* But all guys are the same* They all want the same thing* What's wrong with them all* What happened to the guys* Who want love and compassion* Who want trust and romance* I think I've found that guy* The thing is I still won't open up* I still don't want to get hurt* I dont want another guy* To break my heart again* But I really am trying* And I hope that he knows that* I hope he realizes* That he's the one* That I've opened most up to* That I truely care for* If I'm not opening up* As much as he'd like* I want him to know* That I really am trying* And sooner or later* I'll be 100% comfortable with him* And he'll know all my dreams* My secrets and wishes* He'll know all my hopes* And he'll be the only one* Who'll know me so well* Cuz he'll be the only one* That I'll ever let in* And once I let him in* I wont let him go...*
Cuts*Poem*
08.22.06 (5:19 pm) [edit]Thoughts of suicide* Are the only things that come* To my mind every time* That I think about my life* I've got these so called 'friends'* That only talk behind my back* The people in this town* That only think of me as a whore* The guys all around me* That only want a piece of ass* Ex-boyfrineds who talk* About how much ass they got* I've kinda got my family* But I'm certain they think the same* That I'm an easy piece of ass* And worth nothing more* I made a big mistake* By losing my virginity* When I was only 13* But people dont understand* And people dont see* That I thought I was in love* And 'In Love' I wasn't thinking* So him being 16, and me 13* I let him take away* The only thing that I had* To show I wasn't a whore* Like everying had implied* But now that I've lost it* Maybe they're all right* Maybe ima whore* And only worth a piece of ass* So being on that note* I've finally became* What i said i wouldn't become* So whats life worth anymore* If i cant keep a promise* That i made with myself* I've lost what meant most to me* There's no point anymore* So as i'm bringing this blade* Closer to my wrist* All i can think* Is i'm a worthless piece of shit* And there's no reason to live* Nobody cares about me* None the less do they love me* The 1st cut's for the friends* That supposidly care* The 2nds for this town* That expects only the worse* The 3rds for the guys* Who think they can get ass* The 4ths for my ex's* Who brag about the ass they've gotten* The next's for my family* Who agree with them all* The last cut doesn't matter* Because that is the cut That finished me off* And that is the cut* That gave everybody else* Something different to talk about* Because in their eyes now* I'm no longer a whore* I'm now suicidal And nothing more...*
Until I Met You* Poem*
08.22.06 (5:14 pm) [edit]No one's really cared* Until I met you* No one's ever loved me* As much as you do* You've been there through it all* In the good times and in bad* I hope you'll be there forever* When I'm happy and when I'm sad* You've helped me through my problems* With my family and with my friends* I know you'll help me all the time* You'll help me 'till the end* You'll always be in my mind* Whether you're with me or not* I'll love you till forever* Forget you I will not* Nothing can come between us* Loving each other till the end* You are my life partner* My very best friend*
Missing You* Poem*
08.22.06 (5:12 pm) [edit]I miss when you would hold my hand*And I felt as everything was alright* I miss the way you'd hold me close* Forgetting everything in sight* I miss you telling me I'm beautiful* No matter what I wear* Hell you've seen me at my worse of worsts* Yet what I looked like, you didn't care* The reason that I miss you so* Is cuz you're my best friend* I'd always tell you everything* I'd stand by you, until the end...* But nothing now is near the same* We barely talk at all* I miss the one who took care of me* If ever I were to fall* But now that everythings changed between us* There is no turning back* Never to be together again* You and my love, our hearts now lack...*
He is...My best friend* Poem*
08.22.06 (5:11 pm) [edit]He's my best friend forever* I'm not to think of him those ways* But I cant seem..to get him outa my head* Thats where he always stays...* I keep thinking about a relationship* ....Keep thinking about love* I need help from somebody* I need help from up above...* He has always been there for me* Beginning 'till the end* He's never fallen away from me* He's been my true best friend...* We can usually talk for hours* And never are we bored* I hope I'm always in his heart* 'Cuz love for him my heart has stored...* Whether he thinks the same of me* Time will only tell* For now we'll just be best of friends* That'll do just as well...*
Bein single & Just bein friends* Poem*
08.22.06 (5:09 pm) [edit]I've gotta keep on tryin* At this bein single thing...* For once I dont feel badly hurt* For once I feel no pain...* I've gotta keep my single life* Dont wanna hurt no more...* Dont want my heart torn into pieces* Dont want whats happened before...* Maybe they're not the only one* That causes all this hurt...* I prolly bring it all on myself* Me, worlds biggest flirt...* I dont want myself getting hurt again* Nor do I want to hurt him...* Thats why...Like always...* All we can be..are friends...*
A Heart Torn In 2*Poem*
08.22.06 (5:06 pm) [edit]A Heart torn in 2* From losing a loved one* A heart torn in 2* Because of what you've done* You've lied and you've cheated* My hearts torn in 2* You've used, been conceited* My hearts torn in 2* Until forever in our lives* I thought I'd be with you* But in the end I was wrong* And my heart is torn in 2* A heart torn in 2* Is all that has become* From the love that we once had* Only to find, you weren't the one* The love that we once had* Was passionate, it was great* But a heart's been torn in 2* Because 'I love you' came too late...*
I'll never forget what we had*Poem*
08.22.06 (5:04 pm) [edit]I once did have you, and things were only perfect* But now I'm on my own* You still mean but the world to me* Even though I am alone* We had joy and we had passion* And yes, at times we fought* But what we had meant everything* Forgetting you, I will not* I'll never forget the kiss you'd give me* Pressing my lips so lightly* Nor will I forget your touch* Your hands on me so slightly* The way that we would laugh together* Or how we could talk forever* The late nights baby, just you and me* Those moments, I'll always remember* What hurts me most is seeing you* Every day with another girl* But all that matters is that you're happy* Because to you...She's now your world...*
Why*Poem*
08.22.06 (4:59 pm) [edit]Why's it have to be so hard* Why's it got to hurt so much* Couldn't you not mean a thing to me* Couldn't I just not miss your touch* Why must you mean the world to me* Why must you be my one and only* couldn't I just be happy without you* Couldn't, without you, I not be so lonely* Why do I keep running back to you* Why do I let you hurt me* Couldn't I just stop loving you* Couldn't my heart just let you be* Why, but you, do I feel a temptation* Why, by you, do I always feel need* Must you always, break my heart* Must you always make this heart bleed* Why even though you've hurt me so bad* Why even though you've broken my heart* Must I always keep wanting you back* Must you've torn my world apart* Why no matter the pain I'm put through* Why no matter what you do* Must I always stick around* Must I always come back to you...*
Bitch*Poem*
08.22.06 (4:53 pm) [edit]Bitch you whine* And you complain* All in all* We know you aint sane* You fight* Do drugs* You cheat* Hang with thugs* You think you're cool* A real bad ass* To me you're just stupid* A bitch without class* You been sent to jail* The officers come and go* You go sleep around* Aint nothin but a hoe* Thats how you got ur money* Chargin men for they pleasure* You aint nothin but trash* That *n* nothin better* Ur spose to learn from mistakes* And them never happen again* But you aint learned nothin* And you sleep with my best friend* Go hoe around* And get yourself a bad name* But once you get AIDS* Bitch, to me, dont complain*